Im laid up with a back injury. From being overweight and playing a VR boxing game. Is my dream of kite boarding insane?
Weight: 236.8 , obviously headed back in the right direction but 1.4 pounds above my most recent low.
For context, my goal for month one is 10 pounds. I started May @ 240 pounds. So…. still more or less on track but coming here as I’m committed to doing to talk about the food failings of this past weekend is setting up a whole new dynamic in my head. Which, of course, was the whole point. ;-)
Today is about pain. How it helped me before. How I aim to have it help me now. And maybe how it can help you.
I love the idea of having a dream or a carrot to strive for, but something I’m coming to realize about myself is that to change deep habits, or cure things like sugar addiction, I need more than the carrot. I need the stick. Until some kind of PAIN is ramped up to a high enough level, I won’t achieve any significant alteration in my day-to-day habits.
The final straw when I got heavy originally was two-fold. I was sleeping in a room apart from my wife because when I gain weight I snore like a freight train trying to climb a mountain with a loose wheel *allegedly!*, and I got this back injury that made it impossible to do anything but lay down or stand straight up. It was these constant visceral reminders that put me squarely on the path to 2 shakes a day and a super healthy meal, adding the weekly fasting one day a week. Looking back and comparing to how my mind has been working against me this time it’s blatantly obvious that pain is very useful.
But boy howdy does it fucking suck. I could barely move yesterday. I could barely sleep all night last night. Im icing it basically every hour. And Im back to being horizontal, because even standing induces knife stabs of pain. And its the same injury so i know some things for certain. This won’t go away quickly. If I try to work out to get through it, it will get much worse. If I stay heavy it will eventually come back. If I stretch it will get worse. & the pain wont go away. It will sap me of reason and calm. But it may also still be the key to achieving my goal.
So I need to lay down. And I need to control for what I can control for. Water intake. Food intake. And basically that’s it lol. But that will be enough.
And in a couple weeks when the pain subsides I will be able to start walking to grind out more calories. Then I can try boxing again for small sessions, longer if I do the workouts without the bending over to dodge. And I MUST do more of the slow and controlled weighted workouts I was doing last month.
Kite boarding as a dream probably IS crazy, but people with bigger challenges than me did more amazing things than this. If I’m careful I can build strength, maybe enough to do more than just try kite boarding once and be forced to quit again from injury lol.
This really hurts. But to whatever extent possible I will transform it into fuel. Being “forced” to come here every morning to walk myself through these thoughts is already proving more valuable than I’d hoped. Thank you for joining me for it.
Hello! You’re still here???!! Cool.
Im making it a habit to make it as easy as I can to LET people support my work in whatever ways they can or want to. For more on this check out Day 3/100 Ted Talks where I watched and discussed Amanda Palmer’s Talk “The Art Of Asking”
The BIGGEST favor you can do for me right now is to share this to social media and tag someone specific you think might need to read it. I am deeply grateful in advance!
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